Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in shayneiny's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
8:34 am	DVD company .. I'm home for about 3 months now so most of the time I watch DVDs while waiting for the oath taking.. I love grey's anatomy so here are some lines from the show..  “Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begin? It’s not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year…. It’s an event.. big or small… Something that changes us. Ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories… What’s important is that we never stop believing that we can have a new beginning. But it’s also important to remember that amid all of the crap are few things worth holding on to.”   “Maybe you’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle to take simply being human. Maybe we are thankful for the familiar things we know and maybe we are thankful for the things that we do not know. At the end of the day, the fact that we still have the courage to still be standing… is reason enough to celebrate.”   “ Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the end. And when the dam burst, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world head on, guns blazing. Denial, it’s not just a river in Egypt, it’s a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?”   “At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale maybe slightly different than you dreamed. The castle… well it may not be a castle. And it’s not so important that it is happy ever after just that it’s happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon people will surprise you. And once in a while people may even take your breath away.”   “As surgeons/nurses we know more about the human body now than any other point in our history but the miracle of life itself, why people live and die, why they hurt and get hurt is still a mystery. We want to know the reason, the secret, the answer at the back of the book because the thought of odd being alone down hear is just too much for us to bear. But at the end of the day, the fact that we show up for each other in spite of our differences no matter what we believe is reason enough to keep on believing.”   “We convince ourselves that it’s better that we never dream at all. But the strongest of us, the most determined of us we hold on to that dream. Or we face ourselves faced in a fresh dream that we never considered. We awake to find ourselves against all odds, feeling hopeful. And if we are lucky we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is to be able to dream at all.”   “We all think we are all going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when out expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations fell a short. Sometimes the expected simple pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing still. The expected is just the beginning… The unexpected is what changes our lives.”   “Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go…. TIME..”   “I can’t think of any one reason why I want to be a surgeon (nurse for me) but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose, there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it’s more than just a game and either you take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here’s a thing, I love the playing field.”   “Pain is there for a reason. It tells us something but you just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own, hope that the wound that it caused heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but one time the pain gets you when you least expect it. It’s way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain, you just have to fight through it because the truth is you can’t outrun it and life always males more.”   “As surgeons/nurses, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients and how to take care of each other. Eventually we even got to figure out how to take care f ourselves. We have to be in the know but as human beings, sometimes it’s better to stay in the dark because in the dark, there might be fear but there is also hope.”   “At the end of the day there are things you can’t help but talk about. I made a promise. Some things we just don’t want to hear and some things we say because we can’t be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they are what you do. Some things you say because there is no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often but every now and then some things simply speak for themselves- Res Ipsa Loquitur”       (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
5:25 pm	http://kevan.org/johari?name=iny answer this! (Comment on this)
Friday, February 17th, 2006
7:42 pm	Just had my duty hours ago at CCCGH, was endorsed to a patient again... I thought it would be just like any ordinary patient I attended with for the past few months with mild conditions (diarrhea, pyrexia either hyper or hypo, just gave birth and you know, ones who just lay on bed waiting to be discharged sooner).. So our clinical instructor gave us the family name and the room number of the patients whom we were assigned to.. As I walked down the hospitals hallway heading to my patients room, our C.I. hollered to get my attention and waved her hands to have my feet walking back towards her...In a very low voice she said "You're patient is unconscious! Don't be surprised when you see your patient breathing with a ventilator, 3 IV's and blah blah..." It scared me and I grinned not because I was glad but because I'm drop dead nervous!! We can't choose our patients so I have no choice but to go even if I was dying not to.. I brought with me my shygmomanometer, stethoscope, axillary thermometer, pocket notebook, and a pen with 3 different colors (blue, red, and black )... As I entered the room, I saw my patient and beside her was her mom.. I greeted the mother and asked if I could get her daughters vital signs (blood pressure, pulse rate, respiratory rate and temperature).. She nodded and accommodated me.. Her daughter is only 11 years old and is comatose.. I never knew that her condition's vaguely worst, as in Coma.. Her parents weren't expecting something like this would happen to their daughter.. Her mom told me that she never noticed any signs of abnormality with her.. It just happened one day that her little girl complained about numbness on her chest part and eventually colossal mishaps came dashing, like her eyes are constricting and she needed to perk it up to read her books, vomiting, and complete weakness of her entire body.. I thought my patient is just unconscious due to some medications that causes drowsiness! Poor little girl, she was so pale and thin like a rotten vegetable.. Her eyes were half open and were filled with literal tears at the corners of her lids.. I even have a very hard time wrapping the BP cuff around her upper arm because she's so skinny... The girl was undressed and only 2 blankets were covering her body..Her butt got hideous rashes in the mid portion because of her diapers .I saw her tongue and it was clenched, it looked immovable, not like the usual tongues... Beside her head was a stuffy bear and below her feet was her Pooh stuffed toy...Too bad she can't play with it any longer.. I don't know, I just feel sad about it.. Seeing her mom put the STo. Nino figurine in her daughter's strength less hand, hearing every dull thud of the ventilator to sustain her oxygen and a tube was placed in her head (for reasons I don't know about).. Everything just seems to be so upsetting..She's too young.... We all feel sorry for her... (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 12th, 2006
4:54 pm	YAw*!!!!! Bullsh*t jud nang p.e.... !!!!!!!! I was supposed to be at home now and doing just nothing and here comes our p.e. teachers telling us students that those who won't join the practice for our foundation day will be given INC. for the final grade.. Yeah right!! that's what they always say.. it's an old tactic but sh*t, I still fell for it and I'm regretting it today!!! We were given 4 days off school from SAturday up to Tuesday.. Sunday was the assigned day for the P.E. students to practice, and for the shallowest reason we only have to wave flags, cheer and all those boring stuff they do inside the gym.. COmmon sense will do, we don't have to be told on how to wave flags and should not be forced to attend the Foundation dAy if we don't want to!!! Waving flags and cheering?? It only means that we're not even a big part of the event but it brought us students who needs to travel numerous mountains just to arrive back in school millions of hassles!..So much malarkey, that's what it is!!! So I packed my things one beautiful Sunday and rode back to Cdo.. Well Obing also have to go back to cdo too.. SHe just wasted her money for her bus fare.. On my part, I went with my family in our car so I didn't crash my money!! We both went to school 3:10 and dammit we were asked to wait for another hour or maybe hours before we'll start doing something and that something is worthless.. Some students even brag that there was no attendance which made me want to erupt like a gigantic volcano!!! Freak!!! so what's the use in going back to c.d.o.?? Nothing!! You just wasted your precious time looking at those idiots inside the gym!!AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like dingdong, it's not easy to be traveling all the way back here, having your butt stuck on the cars seat for 2 hours and not to mention having to go through that winding roads from Malaybalay to Cdo(I'm used to it though but I travel for valid reasons!!!) I even have sh*t loads of assignments to make that I saved up for the next day just because of this P.E. thing.... I'm so mad right now and sorry for the foul words(hehe)...I want to eat!! Mcdo? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 9th, 2006
1:36 pm	Everyone, I mean almost everyone is being resourceful! Paula's been selling these really kewl bracelets made out of safety pins and beads for 50 pesos.. She might have been so carried away by her course (B.M. business management but this abbreviation in nursing terminology would be Bowel Movement)..I know B.M. people are gross!haha I can see a future kick ass business woman.. tsk tsk... Sometimes I help Paula do these bracelets since it gets kinda boring in our apartment and I still have nothing to study for but I'm helping out for free, I ain't asking for any labor payment! SOmebody at Xavier even imitated her bracelets and displayed it in their school canteen(back off imitators!)ahihihi..Obing's been selling earrings which she made herself.. she's the debt collector in our classroom (we're classmates in all subjects).. All our classmates were bombarded by her sweet talks(don't be fooled!*kidding*)!!!Madel is also negotiating her flip flops and they were very cute.. The beads really fits the upcoming Kaamulan Festival and yeah come and join Kaamulan Festival this March! It would be an outrageous event at our beautiful Malaybalay!! The bracelets there are more cheaper and more indigenous! You'll see different kinds of people from the crowd of Manobo's, native (nitbags), foreigners, malaybalay's coolest folks and gazillion more! be there okay!back to Madel's flops,they were as tempting as candies in candy jars with all those bright and clown-looking colors!.. it costs 199 but it's worth the cash anyway... Kang kang's been doing cd burning maybe to support her baby.. What would a teenage mom who's still turning 18 this MArch got to do? You have to spend sleepless nights to feed your little baby and it's really hard because you're not used to these responsibilities.. Maybe if I were in her situation I'd be breaking down, sobbing in tears and dying in my own miseries! but Kang's being strong even if she can never deny her immaturity and her eagerness to still go out and have fun.. Her life has changed a lot! She can't go partying at night, can't spend full time on the internet because when baby zAK weeps she breastfeeds him,cuddles him and needs to be beside her baby most the time, can't be a couch potato all day long and numerous changes that I myself can't even stand if I was in her shoes! Lesson learned? go get pregnant after holy matrimony! Hmmm... all my friends are being productive!! I'm all left out with nothing to sell and be creative about.What should I be doing to earn money for myself?.. What the heck I'm I good at? I don't even have 1 damn idea! Karla and Dana have their little secret on their so called confidential business plan! They said they have been planning it for quite long and they even jot it down on paper already but hahaha nobody bothered to work it out.. Go ahead procrastinate sistahs!It's always been the three of us who's been cramming for ages.. getting tired of this job though, How about the two of you? Are you taking an inch more in procrastinating?! Now look, we're the only losers among the mahumba girls... let's get down to business bebe! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 1st, 2006
1:21 am	____YOUR IDEAL GUY____ 1. his hair color? black! no highlights pls! 2. his eye color? brown or black 3. his height? he should be taller! I'm not attracted to shortees! 4. does he have a six pack? it'll do 5. is his hair long or short? short! 6. does he wear glasses? Nope but my other crush do wear glasses and he's not a geek! 7. does he have piercings? piercings kewl but too much is acupuncture already! 8. does he have scars? eeekk!! 9. would he stay on the phone with you until 2 a.m... I get easily annoyed by too much! 12 will do! 10. is his butt big or little? lopped!hahah 11. does he have chest hair? no.. I'm not for grizzly bear image! 12. is he buff or skinny? neither! 13. straight teeth a must? yep yep 14. is he funny or serious? funny! I don't want to be bored all the time! 15. does he like to party or stay at home? balance party and home! 16. should he cook? oh yeah!!! cook me this, cook me that and don't brag that I'm getting fat! 17. should he have a best friend? Yeah.. and that would be me! 18. should he have alot of female friends? the non- flirty ones! 19. is he outgoing or shy? outgoing! It's hard to punch a conversation with someone bashful! 20. is he sarcastic or sincere? sincere! 21. should he love his mother? of course, how he treats his mom is how he'd possibly treat his wife! 22. should he watch chick flicks? yeah! I'm fond of chick flicks and so that he'll get used to the alien's world! 23. would he be a smoker? no! nicotine can stunt your growth dude! 24. would he drink? they all do! 25. would he swear? just don't promise me anything.. it's better off unsaid! 26. would he play with your hair? My hair's all tangled, so would you mind! 27. is his clothes style important? it's ok as long as he looks decent and neat! 28. would he pay for somes dates? he definitely should! 29. does he kiss on the first date? Save it for the next 100th date! 30. would he call you everyday? Yeah yeah! 31. would he bring you flowers? I'm not a flowery type of girl! Can you switch it with something? maybe like chocolate or something..hahah 32. would he lay under the stars with you? haha! you meant like "a walk to remember scenario"? every girl kinda likes it but too much would be too much! don't you think? 33. would he write poetry about you? no! i'll puke!aheheh 34. would he call you baby? *goosebumps* 35. would he hang out with you and your friends? yep, it's great to let your guy and your friends mingle! 36. would you hang out with him and his friends? If I know his friends! 37. would he walk you to the door at the end? Nope, you don't have to! I can manage! 38. holding hands? not in public! 39. does he play soccer? no! 40. does he play baseball?no! 41. does he play basketball? Yes 42. does he play football? no 43. would he have alot of things in common with you? no, he should be the opposite of me! I can't handle another me you know! it's a pain in my ass! 44. would he be the type to always tell you his feelings? he can be open to me with everything! 45. would he three-way you with his best guy friend? it's okay 46. would he three-way you with his last girlfriend? Asshole! 47. would he sing for you? if He has good voice! 48. is he musical? turn on! 49. would he introduce you to his parents? if we last for 2-3 years!acckk! 50. would he leave you messages for you to wake up to? fine! 51. is it important to have him in check? not all the time! he's big already! 52. is he artistic? it'll do! 53. if he calls five times a day, do you tell you friends he's sprung? nope! 54. would he talk alot about his ex-girlfriends? ex's were done with! but if the story he'd be telling is interesting so why not! 55. would he give you any reason to think he was cheating? FACT: boys do cheat! 56. would he watch the sun rise with you? Why? are we living in the same roof? 57. would he take you for walks in the park? It sounds like I just turned into a yaya!?hmm, are there any decent parks here in the phils? Maybe at central park.. haha 58. how old is he? a year or 2 years older than me! 59. is he very smart or average? average! 60. what is the most important thing in a relationship? trust! (Comment on this)
12:50 am	i'm speechless! (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
7:17 pm	a little determination! yes!I needed one badly! Hours ago, my world literature teacher had announced our grades and I was frustrated about it... well, my world lit. isn't the only one pissing me, but most of my minor subjects!my majors are fine! I hate it when I do all my school stuff half-baked.. I know that I could have done better! don't want to disappoint my mom and the rest of my family just because I'm a lazy scumbag! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, January 6th, 2006
7:17 pm	bored here I go again...can't think of anything better off to do! Well, last night Madel had her birthday celebration!!Woohhooo!! She just turned 18, I mean tomorrow she's turning 18, she celebrated it in advance!! So how's it feel like to be old del? We got together with my friends chatted and posed on some weird snappies since we ran out of things to do after eating.. We had very funny photo's! Turning straws to cigars, trying to eat the saucer and worse sticking the straws inside our noses! we ate pork spare ribs or maybe you can call it pork ribs since the bones did predominated the meat! I was dumbstrucked again! I was supposed to go home early because I'll be having my never ending return demonstration the next day and my philippine constitution(first subject in MWF) starts at 8:00... I should not be late because the last time I attended the class. My prof asked me about the resolution I made for this year! Actually, I have none so I just made up a story that my resolution's not to be tardy in coming to class! He giggled or maybe laughed*whatever* since I arrived late that meeting..I'm gonna die of shame if I keep telling all my teachers about my resolution's not to be late!Gee, I was even I hour late for my first subject for the year 2006! But hush it, I did woke up early today even if I went home late from Madel's birthday! I don't want to be humiliated in front of my classmates again! I felt like a total jerk when they all laughed about my quickly-made resolution! Ouch my back's soring!!! I wanted to go home but we need to finish making our documentary film for STS(a total bore and pain in the ass!)... CDO's so exhausting when everybody else you get to go out with is nowhere in sight! yeah, I'm all alone right now and just had dinner all by myself! Now I know how horrible it feels like to be a nerd or was I? Schizophrenic! we did talked about it yesterday with Karla, Dana and Obing.. It was actually kinda interesting and a bit weird because Karla is taking up Psychology and they we're given a project to interview a "schitz".. If my memory serves me right I think she interviewed a guy named Kent. Karla said he was just 2 years older than us and also studied at Xavier before! (Kar, if ever you're reading this, don't get skeptical okay.. I'm just bored and I think the story you told us yesterday would somehow twitch this boredom).. Karla said it's not impossible to like a mentally disturbed person! I'm pretty sure he's got good looks. She would never thought of liking the guy if he looks like some sort of mongoloid! That's scary already... Of all the guys who tried to court you Kar, you'll end up with a retard!Kidding!!Remember what Dana said, there's too much brain in the relationship!hahah..But honest Kar, I really felt something different when you we're telling us about the interview you did and how could I forget when "kent" said " naa ko diri kay, schitz man gud ko" while you we're exclaiming on how cute it was for him to say that, like it was the cutest thing you've heard!Ahhehehehe.... and to our surprise you never tagged anything negative against the guy! Shucks I'm so bored! Before new year I was ransacking my stuff at home and I saw my box where I used to keep the codigo's I had before,my math test paper that got me scoring for like 90% which is a very rare occasion for me, my old notebooks and lot's of old things I used to browse on! I was reminiscing the good old days we had! Funny! I saw my Filipino notebook and hahah I just used 7-9 pages of it for the whole school year since I'm not into salaysay, maikling kwento and all those tagalog words. It was filled with drawings that kept me and Madel busy while the teachers discussing at front. STupid faces of the people we often picked on like Penpen,Gogong and the rest of the Veraboi clan... Yuck, my other notebook was overflowing with text messages I used to like and poems I've made before. I was actually confused if it was a poem because the words never rhymed and the thought was plainly to puke about! There we're messages like "if friendship we're leaves,i'd give you trees, if friendship we're stars i'd give you galaxy and if friendship we're lives i'd give you mine for free"!!hahaha... i was just first year highschool then!!! Looking at my old memoirs makes me wanna go back to being 15, 16 or something and it even made me realize how we acted like total psycho's! Everything could change so fast! (1 Comment |Comment on this)